Shaneia Says...

What they say supposedly doesn't matter until it becomes the trusted source of my reputation My own actions become secondary to the chatter invented to give meaning to what I do I hear they're made up meanings and I raise my glass to they're incredulous interest Let's toast to what they believe: When I give, it's solely to ensure I'm owed later on When I love, it's to fill a void left open due to some past tragedy that eludes even me When I hurt, I'm reaping the hurt that I caused someone else When I cry, it's so the onlookers sight becomes so magically blurred that they see me in a completely different light When I dance, it's to ensure that I own the spotlight When I sing, I only mean to drown out the voices around me I extend frienship only to escape my pending loneliness I work hard because my ego needs the stroking and the accolades give me self-worth Who am I to question the meaning they've determined for my actions Who are they to dete...

Sometimes when I close my eyes and space and time have decided to simultaneously grant me peace there is silence. Real silence. Not the kind where there is only a lack of noise. But also a silence where there are no thoughts. No decisions. No consclusions, confusions, missed activities, past regrets, unrequited loves, unappreciated works, unmatched efforts. Sometimes, there is true silence. And I am grateful for that silence. Sometimes there is a breeze so subtle that only the most exterior layer of my skin catches it’s existence. And when I smile to acknowledge its presence, the Sun kisses my forehead with pride. Proud that I didn’t miss one of nature’s finest examples that it is indeed in tune with my contentment. I am grateful too for the ability to recognize that moment… Sometimes you meet someone who means so much to you that you forget to categorize them. And times too when you remeet someone that you wish you hadn’t unmet, and I am cognizant of destiny’s grace. A cha...

Today I survived invasion of the brown marmorated stink bugs. I spent the ENTIRE day fighting, swatting, jumping, shrieking and cleaning ferociously. I know..whose ever heard of a stink bug you ask? I'll tell you who, ME - that's who! I was getting ready to bust out an Insanity workout when I noticed some bugs around the ceiling molding. Low and behold...wouldn't you know - I pull out the sofa and they are behind there and along the baseboard in front of the patio! I had the patio door open and theres a hole in the screen... Apparently they saw a tiny welcome mat! I find out they are a "new" bug to North America indigenous to China and brought here to harass all agriculture and humans (not necessarily in that order either). After further online research, I discovered that they seek shelter when fall comes to hibernate during the cold winters. Except if it gets too warm in the house they can be awakened and travel to light. I was repulsed. I found an article rel...

Today feels like Sunday afternoon. Quiet and empty of purpose but full of destiny. It’s funny how on the days that you intend to do nothing you begin to make sense of everything. The other days that you were desperate to accomplish and simply couldn’t, they begin to fade and you get to the root of your horrid unproductiveness. Sunday afternoons have certainly been tell-tale of where I stand. What point I’ve arrived in life or where I need to go. It’s funny how Sunday really depicts your circle of life. When Sunday afternoons are spent in the same location as they were in the beginning, that’s usually where transformation happens. When the clock struck afternoon on the Sundays of my childhood I was in a wooden pew. And now years later having spent Sunday afternoons in an array of appropriate and completely dysfunctional situations I have returned to the pew. The prodigal daughter if you will. When completing the Sunday circle, life can really begin. You can finally press pla...

I am a person who is real. What you see is what you get. It’s always been this way. So many people say this about themselves, but it holds true for only a fraction of these self-proclaimed realists. You’ve heard them – “I keep it real and I don’t do drama” BE CAREFUL…these individuals usually make up your rowdiest and most dedicated drama crew. If there is something that I’m upset about or something I have to say I’m going to do just that. I’m not the kind of person who pretends that things are one way if they are indeed completely another. That to me is a characteristic that represents weakness. I guess my feeling is don’t bark at the wrong person or about the wrong thing. If you are upset bark at the right person…bark exactly what your thoughts are. You know what I’m talking about…those people who pretend that everything is ok to maintain a relationship or to seem politically correct. But every chance they get they have something to say about the person or thing that they...

I am aware that it's been quite awhile since I've written something not only original but "telling". I'm sure thats because where I am right now is something that I haven't been able to put into words. However, today I came back to the office (yes extremely late, to check my email and whatever else) and stumbled upon something from a friend that completely spoke to my spirit and that I knew would be a blessing. I also knew that it would help to clearly identify and help clarify for some where they were in life, what they were experiencing and maybe even help to facilitate what they have been feeling. I want to share with you some words that were blazen and outright. Focused, eloquent and considered before sharing. I have been wanting...needing to blog for quite some time. I needed something to break the silence in my own life. I wanted the words and I found them at 4 am on a random trip to the office....one of my friends posted new pics which drew me to...

I have been blessed over the last few weeks with additions to my family. My brother and his wife had twin boys (pics will come) and I adopted a puppy on Monday. His name is Mossimo Darth Vadar Stewart (named by granny and Kiyah). I know that's an awful big name for a 2 month old pup but he is such an incredible little guy with tons of energy. Since this is the very closest I will be to mothering in a long time I am completely thrilled about my new baby. This is not the first pet I've adopted but certainly the first that needs "mothering". When I got Jinxi, my terribly independent cat, all I needed to do was keep the bowl filled, litter clean and she was pretty much on her own. She runs things really. When she's in the mood for love or affection she will slide herself under my dangling feet, and when she's not in the mood trust me no amount of coddling or whistling will bring her to me AT ALL. Not that I love her any less, there's just something co...