the girl with the painted smile...

today it's stoic, the line separating her full lips the center of attention
a smile simply put to maintain even cheekbones.. it's vagueness proving she's "fine"
it's a smile made for battle, ambiguously crafted to lure onlookers
practiced, calculated.. indifferent.

yesterday it was deep. dimpled and u-shaped. way too perfect to be altruistic.
that one frightened me
reminded me that i can only see what she shows. it made me helpless.
funny how fragile she becomes with that monstrous grin.
i have been in the company of the confidence and pride fueling this version
and i concur that they are large and present and functioning parts of her whole..
but still, she just appeared breakable under that heavy, shiny smile.
i couldn't remember the beauty of the fullness of her cheeks..
yesterday they debuted as overworked muscles.

i marvel at her ability - not to be or appear transparent, those tricks are for kids.
it's her ability to sell transparent that leaves me in awe.
whatever the color of the grin she posts, others sign-up, responding to only what she displays.
the ones close to her.. are they easily fooled
or are they simply more comfortable stifling the pain in her real smile.. but i've seen that too..

it only ever sneaks out and it lasts only until you blink
but the ease of it makes the others irrelevant..
it broadens her shoulders and shows the light in her perfectly lashed eyes..
i am reminded only with this smile that i have to look up to see it.
right, cause she's taller than me.
A smile that gives honor to melancholy, shows the most unwavering loyalty to even those stiflers.
it questions nothing, accepts it's own brief existence.

these and others are flashed over time to maintain consistency.
to be subconscious supporters of her stability.
strategically designed to remind us of her strength, i dare say an unnecessary strength
with most of the pressure resonating from her combustible self.
i wish she knew the one seen least of all bares the soul of a humble warrior.
it exposes a universe-granted sovereign beauty.. genetics incapable of reproducing this kind.
if only i knew how to tell her..
if only i thought she would listen..

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