Shaneia Says...

I'm trying to remember what started this whirlwind of drama this month and I couldn't even begin to tell you. I'll just say that I'm awful glad that this month is more than half over. I was reading a friend's blog yesterday and she described a beautiful city scene...one that made me go out today and take a look at Baltimore with new eyes. I was appreciating the rush, the individuality, the candor. I was falling in love with what I enjoy about city living all over again. And then I was reminded of the other side of life in the heart of the city...just that quickly. Today was hectic from the very beginning. I came into work thinking that I was making a trip to Philadelphia to have one of my newer borrowers sign paperwork. We can always send fedex, but my manager believes that when you sit down with a borrower and they can put a face to a name, it gives them a reason to send you referrals. And so far, he has been absolutely right. So, for the cause - I was dri

Let me set the scene. It's labor day weekend, I'm not flat broke and me and my best friend have just won a pretty decent game of spades. I'm feeling pretty ok. There's a little bit of drama with the neighbors. Somebody had too much to drink and she done said something out the way to somebody else and it is FUNNY! 'Cause there is nothing wrong with a little bit of drama, as long as it's not MINE. I'm working out some of the question marks in my life, not with lightening speed, but I'm seeing the gray of the silver lining. Not too much more one can ask for right about now. And then.... Just when I think I'm doing really well. I'm looking and listening and maybe doing a really great job of figuring out some of the life lessons that the Lord is trying to teach me, this happens. I am so NOT ready for this. Anything but this. I mean, I really do deserve a break here. A lot has been going on and I've been keeping my head up, not giving up, listeni

I had the privilege of reading someone else's blog yesterday. Perusing her thoughts and experiencing life through her eyes. It was such a refreshing reminder that our journey is not one that was meant for us to experience alone. As I read her confessions I realized that at some point I had felt the emotions she was writing about and a lot of them were feelings and ideas that I was experiencing in my present. Having my own issues and questions about how this thing called life is supposed to go is difficult sometimes. It's a good reminder that there are others who strive for greatness experiencing what we are. And it is even more rewarding to be reminded by someone else's hand of the mark of excellence that we strive for daily. You see this week, I've been questiong AGAIN whether I am supposed to stick this mortgage slump out. It's been grueling and I think surely God does not want me to be this broke... And then I remember that when things were doing extremely

Last Saturday seemed as if it were going to be kind of regular..me working extra hard to get everything done before the new work week. I came into the office for a brief moment to make some calls, and received an unexpected but very welcome call from one of my best friends. When she started talking I could tell immediately that something wasn't right. After quick hello's, she told me that she had something to tell me. Her husband of over ten years had passed away unexpectedly. Only 36 years old and with a new lease on life, I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I listened to the first couple of sentences and then my mind went completely blank. It felt completely surreal as I listened to her, my mind immediately went back to the last time that I saw him (they threw a sleepover together for all their friends a couple of months back), and my heart ached. I was there, I watched them grow. Watched them go through the ups and downs that couples do, but more importantly wat

I know its gonna sound like I'm talking about work and in a way I am, but I'm really not. I promise I have a bigger point. I was watching Oprah the other day and she had guests on the show who live in what most would consider extremely small spaces. She had her main man Nathan on the show helping people open up their tiny spaces. There were of course your Manhattan renters who pay lots of dough to stay in studios and those who have chosen the life of the village to raise a family. Even those who moved to smaller spaces so that they weren't living "house poor". But the man that caught my attention was a man who lived in a house that was literally no bigger than a room. He paid no mortgage and had very few other expenses. He said that he chose to live in that small house so that he could have fewer bills and really use the money that he did make to ENJOY LIFE. That statement really got me thinking, since when did the number of square feet you owned determin

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortune of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial

As we all watched Joan finally get her man, FINALLY, I think women everywhere were saddened by the ending that we all knew came far too soon. As happy as I was for Joan, I was disappointed that the finale didn't embody the true essence of what the show really meant to so many of us - The importance of sisterhood. The female bond. The friendship between a woman and her girls. Much as we like Monica and the new flare that she adds, we all know that its just not quite the same without trifelin' Toni Childs . And yes, we were all FED UP with Joan's new uppity attitude when Toni was going through the whole custody battle and we knew that it was high time that Joan messed up since Toni had messed up SOOOO many times before...but didn't we all expect them to become friends again. I mean no one truly thought that it would remain like this...seasons later and Toni is STILL in NY....it's impossible. Joan will NOT be a part of Morgan's life...REALLY!!! I just knew that a

As most of you know my birthday was last Sunday June 10 th and I crossed that " nother year" mark hopefully with a clearer head and goals that are closer to obtainable. I have long ago decided that 30 was the year that was going to mark my real START of living. I had a conversation with a very close confidante of mine who confirmed that the 20's are the decade of profundity (yes, I had to look it up too..even after figuring out the root word, thanks to 6th and 7th grade Latin with Mr. Beretta) and once you make all the foolish mistakes that you are prone to make, then you will really start living in the 30's. (so thank you Candace, that really hit home with me, after all these years it still resonates in my spirit). After that revelation however, ironically, I decided to go on vacation. Let me start from the beginning. Those that I've kept in close contact with me know that I constantly say that I'm working. And I fear that people think that I say that beca

Ok, so I've apparently been tagged by one of my fellow bloggies and it is now my job to list the things that make me tick. I have been thinking long and hard about these things since yesterday morning and I've found that as easy going as I thought I was there really are a lot of things that seriously get on my nerves. I have selected the ones that I can share: 1. While taking care of my pertinent BI, I absolutely hate to be asked to hold for more than two minutes. If the automated voice tells me that I'll hold any longer than that I consider it an insult to my time....which I already have very little of. Wouldn't it instead be much nicer to advise the caller that the lines are extremely busy and it may be beneficial to call back at a later date...or assign certain accounts to cerain reps so that I always have someone to reach directly. I don't mind leaving a message, that rep can then just return my call after they have resolved my issue. 2. When going out for a coc

I am reading the newest book by Nelson DeMille called Wild Fire. I really enjoy his books for a variety of reasons. I initially became hooked with one of his earlier books titled Night Fall. Even though a slower read, it was food for thought in the area of politics and government organizations. Wild Fire is a brilliant read about an ATTF detective and his special agent wife who are hot on the trail of an extremely right wing social group of businessman/former US soldiers who have their own ideas about how to end the reign of terror by certain Islamic Groups. This book made me remember the anxiety that I acquired in my younger years around Russians in grade school. Of course at the time I didn't realize that my nervousness around them was a direct result of negative media attention due to the Cold War and all the talk back in the 80's about Russians possessing nuclear weapons. Some over-zealous anchor had me convinced that I needed to be extremely fearful of these people who

I've heard now on more than one occasion that the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting a different outcome. And while I see how that makes perfect sense I at times believe that this goes directly against the age old...if at first you dont succeed try, try again. Something I was spoon fed in school at home and in church. Maybe I shouldn't be confused by these contradictory statements. Becoming an adult has meant practicing and deciphering when these simple truths should take precedence in my life. I should know as a grown woman when I should give something a little more effort and when I need to learn to let go. I'll be the first to admit however, that this is a lesson that I not only struggle with, but sometimes dread. I have come to appreciate constants in my life. My career, my core group of friends, my love. However, it has become imperative for me to learn that change is not only necessary, it is required. In order to grow into the woman t

I think this is a pretty strange first blog to have. I know people normally start with an overview like "this is my first time blogging..." or "I dont usually do this but thought it might be fun...". All things considered, I figured the easiest way to jump into this blogging thing was to frankly write exactly what was on my mind. I have been inspired by a friend of mine that I havent seen in a very long time and I decided the easiest way to share my thoughts....is to share my thoughts. So here goes.... I chose family today as a topic because it's a touchy one for me. I'm not talking about the family that you choose yourself, I'm talking about the ones that you stay away from on purpose and then talk to for a couple of months...and then stay away from again cause they made you mad... Yeah those people... While "myspacing" recently, (don't you love how that's become a verb), I got an interesting message from a cousin that I havent s