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Because Humanity...

WE ARE NOT OUR SUCCESSES AND FAILURES, OUR HUMANITY IS NOT BASED ON SUCH CRITERIA… I’m amazed as I get older how many people still judge others on “high school criteria”. You know, “the you can’t sit with us syndrome”. I’ve watched so many turn their noses down at others for a myriad of reasons, many that lead back to money, class, race… nonsense. And maybe some believe that to be LOGICAL criteria. I mean, I can’t know for sure, but maybe Jeff Bezos doesn’t have friends who make a cool $60K a year – we’ve been taught that we are who we associate with.. correct? Yet we are initially taught, in church/school that we treat others the way we want to be treated. That we love them the way that Christ has loved us. Somehow, adulting means finding a happy medium between these truths. Finding like minded individuals and extending our love and courtesy to EVERYONE. I’m not here to preach either stance. I will say that extending BASIC HUMAN KINDNESS - saying hello, listening to others a...
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Learning Curve Over..

There have been days this year when simply getting out of bed has been the greatest task that I knew I would face. There have been loves worth talking about and ones I wish I could erase from my memory. There have been moments of extreme pride and lackluster showings full of intense disappointment. I have been pleased with the growth that I've begun yet still struggle with some basic developments that are sure to catapult me to the next level. I can not be afraid of my own potential. Sometimes I fear that I've become comfortably complacent which is much worse than the uncomfortable complacency that I fostered a few years back. How does one shake this complacent disease. I tell you this. I will learn today. This is my year of unparalleled growth. Somehow I feel in my spirit that I wont have a choice. Some things that have revealed themselves recently have foreshadowed exactly what I am to expect in the upcoming year. Some of which I was originally stoked to arrive upon...
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2012 In My Rearview..

2012 was an interesting year. It started out like most - promising, shiny and new. It's come to an end full of events that have brought both unparalleled joy and unexpected pain. With 2013 approaching I find myself revisiting the years happenings to determine what I conquered and learned from, should've done better and grown from, or simply miserably endured. I'm coming to understand that just because the ordeal is over, it doesn't mean I learned a lesson. Although not one of my best years, 2012 may has been one of the most necessary for my personal growth. I'm not sure if I am fully signed on to the notion as some are that there is a higher degree of understanding that comes at the age of 33. I do believe however that it comes with higher expectation. I've lived thus far embracing and maybe subconsciously taking advantage of the blessings that I continue to receive. My ability to survive and even thrive in some uncanny situations I attribute solely to...
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the girl with the painted smile...

today it's stoic, the line separating her full lips the center of attention a smile simply put to maintain even cheekbones.. it's vagueness proving she's "fine" it's a smile made for battle, ambiguously crafted to lure onlookers practiced, calculated.. indifferent. yesterday it was deep. dimpled and u-shaped. way too perfect to be altruistic. that one frightened me reminded me that i can only see what she shows. it made me helpless. funny how fragile she becomes with that monstrous grin. i have been in the company of the confidence and pride fueling this version and i concur that they are large and present and functioning parts of her whole.. but still, she just appeared breakable under that heavy, shiny smile. i couldn't remember the beauty of the fullness of her cheeks.. yesterday they debuted as overworked muscles. i marvel at her ability - not to be or appear transparent, those tricks are for kids. it's her ability to sell transpa...
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They vs. Those...

What they say supposedly doesn't matter until it becomes the trusted source of my reputation My own actions become secondary to the chatter invented to give meaning to what I do I hear they're made up meanings and I raise my glass to they're incredulous interest Let's toast to what they believe: When I give, it's solely to ensure I'm owed later on When I love, it's to fill a void left open due to some past tragedy that eludes even me When I hurt, I'm reaping the hurt that I caused someone else When I cry, it's so the onlookers sight becomes so magically blurred that they see me in a completely different light When I dance, it's to ensure that I own the spotlight When I sing, I only mean to drown out the voices around me I extend frienship only to escape my pending loneliness I work hard because my ego needs the stroking and the accolades give me self-worth Who am I to question the meaning they've determined for my actions Who are they to dete...
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Day of Thanks...

Sometimes when I close my eyes and space and time have decided to simultaneously grant me peace there is silence. Real silence. Not the kind where there is only a lack of noise. But also a silence where there are no thoughts. No decisions. No consclusions, confusions, missed activities, past regrets, unrequited loves, unappreciated works, unmatched efforts. Sometimes, there is true silence. And I am grateful for that silence. Sometimes there is a breeze so subtle that only the most exterior layer of my skin catches it’s existence. And when I smile to acknowledge its presence, the Sun kisses my forehead with pride. Proud that I didn’t miss one of nature’s finest examples that it is indeed in tune with my contentment. I am grateful too for the ability to recognize that moment… Sometimes you meet someone who means so much to you that you forget to categorize them. And times too when you remeet someone that you wish you hadn’t unmet, and I am cognizant of destiny’s grace. A cha...
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Stink Bug Blues

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Today I survived invasion of the brown marmorated stink bugs. I spent the ENTIRE day fighting, swatting, jumping, shrieking and cleaning ferociously. I know..whose ever heard of a stink bug you ask? I'll tell you who, ME - that's who! I was getting ready to bust out an Insanity workout when I noticed some bugs around the ceiling molding. Low and behold...wouldn't you know - I pull out the sofa and they are behind there and along the baseboard in front of the patio! I had the patio door open and theres a hole in the screen... Apparently they saw a tiny welcome mat! I find out they are a "new" bug to North America indigenous to China and brought here to harass all agriculture and humans (not necessarily in that order either). After further online research, I discovered that they seek shelter when fall comes to hibernate during the cold winters. Except if it gets too warm in the house they can be awakened and travel to light. I was repulsed. I found an article rel...
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